Why People Are Too Stupid for Pokemon Go

Many people are shutting out reality to capture more Pokemon.

Too Stupid for Pokemon Go over the globe, the number of injuries & deaths continues to grow. Unfortunately, some people are too dumb to live. Even though many people are playing the game responsibly, there is still a huge amount who have completely lost touch with reality. People are crashing their cars, falling off of cliffs & getting shot while wandering into strangers’ homes. It’s hard to feel pity for them since they are making humanity as a whole look completely retarded.

This new burst of natural selection is creating some pretty epic tales. It showcases the stupidity of people who rely too heavily on their smartphones. You may laugh when reading these, but these stories aren’t intended to slander or make light of the misfortunes of others. This article was written to keep people from making the same mistakes others did out of ignorance. Even though you love Pokemon Go, you can’t forget that you are still in the real world. A simple mistake can end up turning a silly game into a nightmare. So take a look at some of the mayhem that dumb people have managed to get themselves into.

Why People Too Stupid for Pokemon Go

Incident #1: Dying for Pokemon

Too Stupid for Pokemon Go
Breaking into a home for Pokemon ended this young man’s life.

If a Pokemon that you are desperately searching for is inside someone’s home what do you do? For Jerson Lopez de Leon, the answer was simple: break into their home. This genius idea ended up getting him & his little cousin Daniel Moises Picen shot when they broke into a home in Chiquimula. If you are worried about them trying to pull off this stunt again, don’t be. Jerson died on the spot from his gunshot wounds while Daniel is badly wounded in the hospital. Hopefully, they ban Daniel from using smartphones until he learns to think for himself.

Incident #2: Playing With Your Next Rapist

Playing With Your Next Rapist
Playing With Your Next Rapist

One sex offender was arrested while playing Pokemon Go with an unsuspecting teen near the Hancock County Courthouse. According to police, Randy Zuick violated his probation for a child molestation conviction by playing with the teen. This goes to show you can never be too careful when playing with strangers. Luckily the teen was smart enough to realize that you are supposed to play Pokemon Go with clothes on.

Incident #3: Crashing into Police Cars

 Crashing into Police Cars
Crashing into Police Cars

Baltimore police were once again surprised by the stupidity of civilians when a grown man crashed his SUV into a police car. Unfortunately for humanity, the police didn’t shoot the suspect. He will live to play more Pokemon Go & possibly run down more innocent people in his quest for glory.

Incident #4: Turning Yourself In

Turning Yourself In
Turning Yourself In

Since police stations now double as “gyms” in the Pokemon Go world, wanted criminals are now wandering into captivity. William Wilcox got so pumped up about Pokemon that he forgot that he had warrants & dove headfirst into custody. He was wanted for breaking & entering & was arrested before he could finish training his Pokemon. We can only speculate if his original crime was committed to getting more Pokemon.

Incident #5: Getting Stuck in Trees

Getting Stuck in Trees
Getting Stuck in Trees

A New Jersey woman officially lost all dignity when she was trapped inside a tree in Eglington cemetery. Apparently, she climbed the tree in her quest to catch more Pokemon. Once she realized that she was an idiot who couldn’t fly, she called 911 & begged for help. The fire department was forced to ignore real calls for help as they dropped everything & came to her rescue. Unfortunately, she survived the incident & is currently at large searching for more Pokemon.

About the author

Nathaniel Mansfield